Welcome

As past participants, we want our walks through infidelity to bring hope, inspiration, and courage to your own journey.
, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel addresses the situation where a couple may not believe in their marriage again.

, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel answers a viewers question and also explains why an unfaithful spouse may label their betrayed spouse controlling.

, 6 years 5 months ago
you are not alone. when shame has the last word - elizabeth - affair recovery survivors blog Shame.

I hate the word. I hate the feeling. I am guessing for most of you reading this, you have more than a vague idea of what this word does to a human being and how it can be one of the most destructive forces on the planet.

I am so tired of shame.

Sure, I can sit here and look back on my life and the things that happened before I had a choice in the matter. Reflect on the things that helped shape my heart into a giant bucket of shame....

, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel discusses when and how to use an ultimatum in recovery work.

, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares hope and tangible encouragement for those struggling to find hope.

, 6 years 5 months ago
the more i grow in my own journey of self-discovery, the more i begin to see my situation from a higher level. author - chase

A good friend of mine, and fellow betrayed husband (yes, we met at an EMS weekend), coined it best when he said, "This isn't highs and lows; it's chutes and ladders." All of us on this journey have experienced the hope generated by progress. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the bottom falls out and in the moment all hope seems lost.

Which way is up?

I am now 16 months out from my first D-Day, 9 months from my last, and if there is one word that can describe the spot I seem to circle...

, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares a significant pointer for the unfaithful spouse trying to win back trust.

, 6 years 5 months ago

Samuel shares insight into three recoveries that have to be addressed when healing from infidelity.

, 6 years 5 months ago

Today in counseling I was stunned by a concept I’ve heard most my life. Similar to the old quilt that covers our bed, I became so familiar with it I no longer saw the depth of beauty in it.

My counselor asked me how I felt I was doing at “feeling my husband’s pain”. He has a way of asking a simple question and patiently waits for me to take as long as I need to respond. Having been a counselor for over 40 years, he sees right through me and my crap most days.

How am I doing with handling my husband’s pain? You mean the pain I created with MY infidelity?

In the silence of that moment I found myself...

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight into the tactic of 'rewriting history' and how to recover from it.

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel discusses the common question in recovery; are we too far gone to be healed?

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel discusses a trap many unfaithful spouses fall into in recovery.

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares a controversial but powerful approach to finding true healing.

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight into how to forgive the affair partner after the discovery of infidelity.

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel discusses how we can be traumatized by well meaning therapists and authority figures.

, 6 years 6 months ago

"Learn how to be okay
when things are not okay."

When I first heard this statement I thought it was dumb and much too simple. It was almost insulting – like trying to treat an intensive care wound with a band aid.

However, ten long months into recovery, this statement has been a foundational thought in getting through many hard days.

...

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares insight into a common mistake couples make in recovering from infidelity or addiction.

, 6 years 6 months ago

Samuel shares the proper motivation for recovery work after infidelity for both spouses.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel discusses a necessary paradigm shift if couples are going to heal from infidelity.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel shares his own experience in adjusting to life after disclosure and embracing new patterns in life.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel speaks to the betrayed spouse on what anger is costing them in their recovery.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel shares his own experience in adjusting to life after disclosure and embracing new patterns in life.

, 6 years 7 months ago
, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel discusses how defensiveness diminishes safety from the recovery process.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel shares a key approach to helping the unfaithful spouse get healthy after infidelity.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel discusses a major paradigm shift in recovering from infidelity or addiction.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel discusses one of the number one reasons couples don't make it in recovery or marriage.

, 6 years 7 months ago

Samuel answers a viewers question on why the unfaithful will often times withdraw in recovery work.

, 6 years 8 months ago

Samuel shares suggestions for the betrayed spouse in rediscovering the unfaithful's heart.

, 6 years 8 months ago
Find the courage to come out of hiding Why is hiding so tempting and where does the desire come from?

Hide and seek. This is a game my kids play for hours, even now as teenagers. There is such terror and anxiety in the moments you are waiting but the best part of the whole game is the feeling you get when you are found. I remember when my girls were little and would find great hiding spots. They were so excited they would often yell out, “I’m in here, come find me!” I often wonder why the game was so delightful for them. I’m guessing it had something to do with the smile...

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