Affair Recovery

Samuel uncovers a common fallacy in healing from infidelity.

Last year, instead of making a New Year’s resolution, I asked God what he wanted to accomplish in me over the year. I clearly felt like he was telling me my “theme” for the year would be “Let It Go.” I spent most of the first half of the year learning about limiting beliefs I had that were sabotaging my efforts toward being healthy both mentally and physically. I also learned that I spent most of my days trying to escape from my life. Instead of living in the moment, I lived hoping for a better future. Instead of taking care of myself, I focused on all of the things I wanted to change about myself and my life.

The year...

Samuel shares the lessons he learned the hard way about Samantha's journal and going deep in recovery.

Even before disclosure, I was really good at catastrophic thinking. I would hear a story and go to unimaginable places such as the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary. I cried for weeks because I imagined what it would be like if my own children were murdered mercilessly at school. It was almost too much to bear.

After disclosure, I often would think about the worst case scenarios such as, “What if my husband would have gotten caught? What if he was the next big news story?” I imagined how it would ruin our kids’ lives at school and how I would probably have to move to another state just to start over with a clean slate. Would I stay with him? Would I leave? Then, I would come back to reality and remember that God has only given me the strength to deal with the present. Futuristic...

Samuel discusses how to win in recovery from infidelity.

Samuel discusses the journey of the betrayed: one of the reasons they may not be vulnerable with the unfaithful.

A few days ago, I received a phone call from our son’s school telling me he was having an allergic reaction.  Our five year old son has a life-threatening peanut allergy so, as you can imagine, I was highly concerned.  When my husband and I got to the school, my son’s eyes and nose were swollen and his breathing was labored so we administered the Epipen and waited for the EMT to arrive. 

I had to pick up our daughter from preschool, so I jumped in my car and as I drove I prayed fervently for healing for my son.  Once I got to the school, I opened up my phone and texted about 10 of my closest friends and asked them to pray for my son and the situation.  By the time I got back to his school, his vital signs were normal and my son was amazingly calm....

Samuel discusses how to make it through the holidays, though the marriage's future may be uncertain.

Today Samuel discusses the mindset many spouses take towards their own forgiveness in the marriage for their infidelity.

Five months ago, my husband sat me down and told me about a sexual addiction he has had for over 20 years.   Before you close this blog saying “Oh, he didn’t have an affair, what does she know?”  Let me just tell you, not all sexual addictions happen behind closed doors in front of a computer screen. 

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and since the first year I had a feeling that there was “someone” or “something” that he had on the side.  I could sense that he was not “all in.”  However, when I would ask him “Do you have a problem with porn” or “I feel like you are going out of town just to be with somebody else” he could “truthfully” tell me that it was neither of those things because it wasn’t…it was something that wasn’t even on my...

Today Samuel discusses a few key stages spouses find themselves in, as they pursue restoration and healing after the discovery of infidelity.

Samuel discusses one of the most difficult, yet important parts in the process of recovery after infidelity.

Hope is out there, but you have to be looking in the right direction. These are the first four places where I saw hope.

Lynn is the author of Keep Walking, 40 Days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal, a devotional for women dealing with the trauma and heartache of betrayal.

Samuel discusses the mindset of some unfaithful spouses and perceived codependency.