I am the unfaithful spouse. It has been 20 years since my affair and we are on week 3 of the course.  I have very bad communication skills and I unintentionally hurt my husband often. Do you have step by step examples for how to form my statements or some way to guide me when I try to communicate?  I feel like I need to practice what I say with someone that can tell me what I sound like from the view of the betrayed. I really need help because it won’t work if I sound like I’m minimizing or making excuses when I’m trying to be honest and accountable.

Due to the length of time since my affair I do not remember all of the details and timeline. Because of that, the story I told on the phone call was different than what I have said in the past. My husband sometimes tells me that I told him a specific detail and occasionally it jogs my memory and I know he is right but other times I cannot remember the detail at all. Do you have suggestions for how to handle the lost memory of details from my story when I’m answering questions?  I listened to the first question answered in the May 13 Q & A but it didn’t help.