Hi Rick: we are hoping you can give us some guidance on accountability between husband (unfaithful spouse) and wife (betrayed spouse). As the unfaithful spouse who has struggled with sexual addiction, I’ve completed the three circles exercise, with the off-limits sexual behavior and secret keeping in the inner circle. Of course, if I fall in any of those areas, I will confess to my accountability partners and to Becky. The middle circle has some potential gateway behaviors – things that may lead to me falling sexually if I do them over time, as they lower my boundaries. Our questions are this:

1. I will be telling my accountability partners if I violate a middle circle behavior. Do I tell my wife if I’ve violated the middle circle behaviors? Will that help us or hurt us?

2. The big question – if I am tempted to violate the inner circle behaviors, I normally would reach out to accountability partners and ask for help. Do I tell my wife that I was tempted to violate, even when I don’t actually do it? Will that help us or hurt us?

We are both looking for guidance (not just me squirming out of accountability :) ).
Thanks!
Greg0903

I often times hear people refer to the bible when talking about infidelity and divorce. They say that in scripture the bible says that divorce is acceptable and legitimate when infidelity has occured. Just out of curiosity what is your knowledge of this. If God is making an allowance for divorce by these means does he really want a marriage restored when infidelity has occured? Thought I would ask since it comes up so often. Thanks!