11 weeks since D-day and on week 5 of EMS and good days vs bad days are about even. We had a good day yesterday when this morning she woke up with the conviction of I cannot/will not change. The details of my affair have been disclosed and repeated and reviewed including earlier close calls (which are also now cheats of equal weight). These combined are giving cause to her conviction that I cannot be fixed and having been a cheater will always be a cheater so why should she go through all of this? "What's to keep you from doing it again in 10 years?". All my sincerest answers are not seeming to help:

I understand this is a long and arduous process yet my biggest fear is that she will give up and not want to try. I pray and put it in God's hands but how can I help be his vessel in showing her that he is with us and give her the faith that it can be better and that I can change?

Rick,

We attended EMS weekend in December 2012 and have stayed connected with a couple in our group...it has help me (unfaithful) so much to be connected to my sister in Christ that has been there for me, I can not say enought about EMS and how it changed our lives.

It has not been easy, and you said it would take 18 -24 months for healing...we are in counseling and I have been since D Day and my husband and I have been now for almost one year. To date we are approaching our 34th Anniversary and D Day on 7/22 for 2 years. My husband has decided that it is too much, he said he just can not do this any more and wants a divorce, we have made so much progress...yet he talks about the AP almost daily and the triggers are just to big for him to get past them. I have NO feelings or want anything to do with my AP, it is repulsive to me about how I did what I did and the consequences of my sin and behavior. After almost 2 years I don't think we should be re-hashing the details and the WHY this happened. I want nothing more than to stay married to my husband and know there are deeper hurts and problems then my affair in our marriage. I too am hurt by the cutting words, actions and the anger that cuts like a knife, the details of the affair or going over, and over it does not help at this point. I am withdrawing and pulling away because of the hurt and after he has a really bad time, it''s hard for me to "bounce back" not sure what to do at this point. We know that God is in control and allowed all this to happen for a reason, painful but I don''t believe this is for nothing. My husband believes God is telling him this is the end, I don't think so, and believe it could and will be worst with divorce. Please help us in what to do.

Thank you.