When you encounter infidelity, the wreckage that arrives as  a result of disclosure is anything but mild and the questions seem to be endless. “Who do you turn to?” “Who can you trust?” “Are they lying?” “Are they really being honest with me?” “Should I save my marriage?” “Should I contact the affair partner?” I’ve met with many a spouse over the last 30 years who passionately wanted to save their marriage, but regrettably made things worse. Conversely, I’ve met with many who decided to take a stab at recovery and utilized some incredible courage and resolve and found life changing restoration.

Recently a betrayed spouse said to me “Rick, I’m sorry, but there’s no playbook for this. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do.” I grieved with him as he shared the details of his wife’s affairs. Towards the tail end of our session I shared with him that there was some good news. There was in fact, a play book for his situation. There was a roadmap we could walk together that would give him and his wife the best opportunity at healing and restoration. I had no guarantees for him, but I did have hope and I did have a plan. Through God’s grace, we would walk it together.

The cold hard truth in recovery is there are things you can absolutely to do empower yourself and make things better. Unfortunately, there are things you both can do to make things absolutely worse, which no one wants. This week, I’d like to share a  short clip of a video  featuring John and Leslie discussing the Top 10 of the 20 Most Common Mistakes of the Betrayed in Recovery. John and Leslie are not only licensed therapists, as well as the authors of Harboring Hope, but have also been through infidelity themselves personally and help to facilitate our EMS Weekends each month. I hope it provides some insight into your situation and provides tangible hope for you both today:

If you or your spouse is looking for help in your recovery, I hope and pray you’ll give one of our online courses a try.

If you’re not sure what road you should take feel free to email our staff at info@hope-now.com and we’ll do all we can to point the way for your recovery.